oatmeal

decided to bring oatmeal for breakfast to work, ended up being incredibly gummy and sticky. i ate it anyway. (i'm becoming overly pear shaped).
this morning i was told that i was "so cute for saving myself for marriage." anyone else think this is strange?
this weekend we will arrange our apartment, the one we will live in. it's the one that will hold our new dishes, dining chairs and old worn couch. it makes my heart happy.

lucas

yesterday i was headache free for most of the day, and it was rare and lovely. tonight i am forking out what feels like millions to have my hair dyed by an actual person in an actual salon. its weird.
soon my love will be closer to me than ever and dinner we will make and movies we will watch in the little tiny apartment that we will call ours soon enough. you make life worthwhile.
so does this little button.
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he looks like a little old man, as most babies do.
i'm pretty ticked about being at work right now for a few reasons.
1) i called in and said i had a migraine and they still expected me to come in.
2) i was expected to come in to make copies and file. these are things that are not pending or important AT ALL. they can be done whenever and usually are.
3) i have never been denied a let off from work.

so here i sit, feeling like complete crap making copies of a 2 foot high stack of [unimportant] statements.

tonight i will be alone because david's car isn't fixed yet. i'm really really upset...argh.

wouldn't it be nice

ok kari, i believe you. i won't stop listening to jenny lewis.

this weekend i spent the most money i ever have in my life. we bought little green dining chairs for the day when we have an apartment. it was definitely my favorite purchase, ever.

the beach boys entertained our ears on the way to greg's. it was nice.

it's bound to melt your heart

a few weeks ago sylvia was on tv and i was excited because i never got to see that movie since it was rated R. but it made me kind of upset because even though i knew she was a little crazy (she killed herself by putting her head in the oven) i never pictured her so ridiculously insane. the movie showed her obsessing over her husband and his every act (which was sort of understandable since he was cheating on her with their friend all the time) but she would freak out and rip up stuff and scream and i didn't like it. anyway, what i'm trying to say is my idea of her is kind of crushed because when i read her words i feel like i could be writing them myself but after seeing that movie it's a little harder to relate.

in the past month two of my girlfriends have gotten married and the weirdest thing, i'm discovering, is talking about sex with them. i'm pretty comfortable talking about it because i think it's interesting and i understand that it's private but some stuff you just have to want to talk about, i think. since i haven't experienced it for myself i have a lot of questions but i'm not ever going to ask them...like, how often does it happen? all i have to say is that i wont be shy about talking about it to my friends if they have questions like i do...there's some things you've just got to know.

it's all of the good that won't come out of me

it's freezing in here and the constant change of hot car/cold office produces that ever-ready headache. my right hand is stiff from resting on the mouse. something inside of me has been holding back the words but as you can see i let loose a few weeks ago with that little tale of two loves when they've become one. it's just that even though it will happen it sometimes feels like it really won't.
 

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