filtered water and pictures of you

almost every night this week blake has been in my dreams. one night, me and him and david went skiing in the mountains and then hung out at the mtc which bore a great resemblance to the church nursery. all we did was goof around but it felt right and it was so nice to hear his voice. i think that's what i miss most- his blakey voice. it was so real, more real than in any dream i've ever had and when i woke up i felt pretty sick. blake is so distant, not just in miles but in communication and actuality. luckily, he's in my thoughts and in my dreams more often than not. gosh, i miss that kid.
mad english professor was in a rarely good mood today and let us out five minutes early after explaining why there would be no survivors if a plane dropped from 35,000 ft (i can't remember the real number so forgive if that one is outrageous) due to pressure, completely omitting the fact that the plane would ultimately end up crashing into the ground anyway, leading to only body parts and no survivors.
i'm so lonely at work with no keith or nate to play monopoly with. only one more class before the weekend, then i'm spending saturday working for mom as she caters a family reunion to earn $100 which i owe her anyway.
tonight is a disneyland night. it's so warm.

so everybody put your best suit or dress on

i feel like i'm14 again after being driven around all day to school and work. three days left until my car registration expires so it had to be smogged so that i can take it to the dmv early in the morning sometime this week and have it registered in california. i hate that piece of crap.
i have an appointment next week to meet with people at bryman for them to interview me for school.
good today:
barely ate anything
took excellent notes in class
have actual work to do at work
knowing davey has things to do
got to wear new wedges to work

bad today:
waiting 20 for mom to get me from school
being locked out of the house
feeling strangely sick

oh good, there's more good than bad.
p.s. everything is illuminated wasn't as good as i thought. but that's cause i'm just a kid.

on a bicycle built for two

oh, how i loathe crotchedy, hunched over old english women who admit their only reason to sink below their level and teach community college is the lack of income from their job as a professor at the university. and yes, it is a waste of time to take someone's cell phone when it goes off in class as you explain to us once again how you said you would take it from them if it went off, and see, do you see how it disturbs the lecture?
and amazing bearded (female) english teacher has decided that we will watch trading places in my class because we're reading the prince and the pauper (even though it's english 1b) and compare the two. it being rated r gives me a good reason to skip class that day. maybe me and evan, my mormon sidekick, will ditch and talk about our futures (which are very similar) over hot chocolate.
ask me about any asian country, because i can tell you where it is on a map, completely unmarked.
phillippines? check
singapore? check
kyjzrkystan? checkity chiz-eck.

also heading straight from work to davey's at which time we will partake in the lovlieness of elijah wood in "everything is illuminated." very excited.

this is the sound of settling

i have realized that i can talk myself into anything i want, as long as it's the easiest choice of whatever i am deciding. who woulda thought? for example: deiciding whether or not to go to class this morning because of dull ache in lower back and abdomen was easy to do, considering that not going involved staying in bed, not getting dressed and not driving. besides, i had been crying like a three year old the night before and gagging on my way to the toilet so of course i deserved a few (three) extra hours napping on the heat pad.
bad today:
eating nothing but junk
not reading til chapter six in english book
not finishing english paper although is due in three hours
being in a horrible mood that i have no control over
feeling sick and out of it
losing to keith at monopoly

good today:
realizing i didnt need to go to the store
getting a random message from someone with good news
knowing that i wont get my period again for another month

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