this is the sound of settling

i have realized that i can talk myself into anything i want, as long as it's the easiest choice of whatever i am deciding. who woulda thought? for example: deiciding whether or not to go to class this morning because of dull ache in lower back and abdomen was easy to do, considering that not going involved staying in bed, not getting dressed and not driving. besides, i had been crying like a three year old the night before and gagging on my way to the toilet so of course i deserved a few (three) extra hours napping on the heat pad.
bad today:
eating nothing but junk
not reading til chapter six in english book
not finishing english paper although is due in three hours
being in a horrible mood that i have no control over
feeling sick and out of it
losing to keith at monopoly

good today:
realizing i didnt need to go to the store
getting a random message from someone with good news
knowing that i wont get my period again for another month



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