22 or 3

i can't remember how many days are left. ok, it's starting to feel real. kind of. yesterday keiri came down, which i really really appreciate because i have a hard time with girls who are my friends, and depending on them. i just don't like to be let down. i haven't felt like anyone is really excited about me getting married but i've been pushing it away because that really doesn't matter. so, keiri dyed my hair for me, and we bonded. we were running really late and my first bridal shower ever started at 7...i kept thinking to myself, "it doesnt really matter if i'm late" but then i remembered that the shower was for me, so i needed to be there on time. the whole night was kind of a daze. i opened presents for an hour. it was ridiculous! we got so much stuff. by the end of the night i kind of got used to being the one all of the fuss was for. im just hoping that on saturday when i have another shower, i'll be more comfortable. i'm glad i only have to do this once. and it's not as fun as i thought it was going to be. it kind of just feels...like a weird dream.