Baby thoughts

Like most people, I have times when I want a baby right then and times when I don't want one for a while. I don't know if I've ever documented this before, but when we first got married all I wanted was a baby. I didn't care about cost, me not working, or anything. All I could see was that baby in my arms. That was almost 4 years ago- and since then my baby hunger has slowly decreased. Year after year that desire fades a little more. Sad, huh? We keep saying, "next year". The funny thing is that if we had stayed in California we'd probably have a house, a kid and maybe even another one on the way...strange to think about.

I have loved babies since I could hold them and I'm pretty sure I was obsessed with my little sister when she was born (who wouldn't be with two little brothers already?) and that was at age 7. I started babysitting when I was 11 (my first job involved me sitting in a chair for a half hour holding my mom's friend's baby while she ran an errand) and pretty much haven't stopped. I look for any opportunity.

On Saturday nights in high school, you wouldn't find me at church dances (I think I only ever went to one). Nope. I'd be at my neighbors house watching her two little kids, playing dinosaurs, brushing their teeth and tucking them in. Then I'd watch their collection of British Romantic Dramas. hahahaha.

I think I was built for it. Babies, I mean. I have wide hips, I can hold a baby forever and not get sick of it. I have more patience for kids than I do for adults or even my dog. I used to want 6 kids. The year we got married it went to 4. Now I think it's at 3. David often says "one". Is this depressing? Sometimes.

Maybe things will change significantly when we actually hold our child in our arms. Maybe I will be that patient loving mother who just wants more and more. Or maybe we will just have 2. Who knows. It's weird to not know.

So- when, you ask?

Maybe next year.

1 comments:

Scott and Jenna said...

Things WILL change when you have a baby of your own. It's hard and scary and totally exhausting, but there's nothing like it in the world. I wouldn't trade being a mom for anything.

 

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