fall

it's here! the summer felt like it went really fast but i dont even care. the feeling of cold nights and cool days makes my heart jump at the thought of the holidays which are on their way here. i wish i had gotten married in the fall...an orange boquet...apple cider...the leaves changing. the air just smells good.
nothing beats the feeling of fall.

back to school

david is going to school again, and i long to be there too! i want to be in school so that i'm working towards finishing it so i can have a job that i love. my job right now is fine, but i want to be doing something that i've learned how to do beforehand.
i want to edit, i want to research, i want to...maybe teach.

autumn

i just realized today that summer is over. yesterday it stormed like nothing i've ever seen and boy, was i excited. i loooove rain and thunderstorms. this morning it was very, very cold and i enjoyed it. but i just looked at my barely tan, freckly arm and realized...i didn't even get a chance to get tan this summer and now fall is here. oh well. i'll cover my white arms with coats and my neck with my london scarf.

baby love

being at this job makes me want to finish school so badly. or have a baby. jkjk a baby doesn't solve anything. half of the time i feel like it would complete me...having a baby, that is. and the other half of the time i'm scared out of my mind or annoyed at the thought of a crying baby.
i'm 22 years old i have the rest of my life to have children. except that after age 35 the risks double for chromosome issues and whatnot so that never sounds too exciting.

true love dont love like anybody else

i feel like once i got married, all my self control went out the window. sometimes i think that everything i worked so hard for had come to me, so maybe i didn't need to try for anything anymore. obviously that's wrong.
kari suggested that i get back to my roots by listening to old music. i want to do all of the things i used to. i can't dwell on the past and keep thinking that things were so much better then, because things were simply different and you can't force anything to be a certain way if it's not.
yesterday i had some down time so i decided to check out old messages that were sent between me and my love oh so long ago. we are awesome! if there's something i can be proud of, it's our love. its so crazy to think of how we were and how we are.
he takes care of me even when i'm in a bad mood, he wants me to be happy
and i know we'll be able to tackle anything because we know each other well

notebook revisited

Love is REAL and LOVELY and just as good as in the notebook. I have it, and so do they in real life.

virtuous

"TEMPERANCE. Eat not to dullness; drink not to elevation."
"SILENCE. Speak not but what may benefit others or yourself; avoid trifling conversation."
"ORDER. Let all your things have their places; let each part of your business have its time."
"RESOLUTION. Resolve to perform what you ought; perform without fail what you resolve."
"FRUGALITY. Make no expense but to do good to others or yourself; i.e., waste nothing."
"INDUSTRY. Lose no time; be always employ'd in something useful; cut off all unnecessary actions."
"SINCERITY. Use no hurtful deceit; think innocently and justly, and, if you speak, speak accordingly."
"JUSTICE. Wrong none by doing injuries, or omitting the benefits that are your duty."
"MODERATION. Avoid extremes; forbear resenting injuries so much as you think they deserve."
"CLEANLINESS. Tolerate no uncleanliness in body, cloaths, or habitation."
"TRANQUILLITY. Be not disturbed at trifles, or at accidents common or unavoidable."
"CHASTITY. Rarely use venery but for health or offspring, never to dullness, weakness, or the injury of your own or another's peace or reputation."
"HUMILITY. Imitate Jesus and Socrates."

daydream

maybe i feel like i need to stop dreaming now that the things i dreamt about have come to pass.

last night it stormed and we sat on the porch and enjoyed it. i still need to find myself and i'm working on it but shouldn't it come more easily? i got way off track so now i'm trying to get back on.

ugh, why can't i dream anymore?

beehive state

david:"did you like garden state?"

me:"yeah. it's one of your favorites, right?"

"well, it's not as relevant to my life anymore."

"it WAS relevant at some point, though, right?"

"well, not the drug stuff. but the 'finding yourself' part was."

"and it's not anymore?"

"well, i found you."

in all seriousness...my life could be a movie.

summer

the last three summers of my life have been spent on a beautiful lake in the mountains that i could visit at least once a week. now that i'm far away i feel like i never took true advantage of the scenery or the sunshine. there are lakes here, true, but we have no boat, no dock, no pine trees! lake arrowhead and i have had our struggles, but one of them was definitely never with the lake or its surroundings.

Goals

I'm going to do 101 goals in 1001 days. I'm just going to make it a giant post and add to it for the next few days until it's full.
Also, As of now I only have 67 goals so I'll add more as they come to mind. I need to configure the end date.

Educated Me:
[Take a photography class]
Take another photo class
Always be working on a leisure book
Look up words I don't know and keep a list
taken/taking a semester toward graduating (english, linguistics, nutriton or photo)
take a cooking class...williams sonoma maybe?
6
Mommy Me:
Make my baby shower gifts
Make at least 1 quilt
2
Creative Me:
[Sew pillows for living room]
Sew pillows for bedroom
Fill 2 scrapbooks
Cook one new meal a month
[Learn how to make bread like mom]
Learn 3 songs on the guitar
Write in my journal/blog once a week
Send christmas cards
Make 1 present/year for david
[Re-upholster our headboard]
[make a shadow box for david's army things]
make a shadow box for david's mission things
make up 5 original recipes
[decorate] & frame my willow poem
design a baby's room
[learn how to crochet]
learn how to knit
master a strawberry tart
learn how to make sushi
learn how to make 3 french entrees

17
Frugal/Environmental Me:
Plant an herb garden
Add to my food storage
get a trashcan for recycling
create and keep a budget
[move to a house with cheaper rent]
learn how to use coupons
3

Clean Me:
Do dishes every week night for at least two weeks
Vacuum under furniture (bed, couch, tv) every 6 months

2
Spiritual Me:
Read the book of mormon
Read the new testament
Read doctrine and covenants
Bear my testimony in sacrament meeting
Visit the temple once a month
visit [provo], salt lake, mount timp and manti temples
Find my patriarchal blessing and read it every sunday
read scriptures every night

8
Healthy Me:
Lose at least five pounds and keep it off
[Get a new tire for my bike]
Start including more organic products in our diet until we're 75% organic
Be able to run 2 miles without stopping or dying
Get floss helpers and floss regularly
Spend saturdays outside during summer months
eat healthier
7
Adventurous Me:
Go camping at least 3 times .2.
[buy another sleeping bag]
[go to the hogle zoo]
[visit the salt flats]
learn how to ride the scooter
hike to the Y
catch a fish
tube down the canyon
go to the aquarium
go to yellowstone
[visit mount rushmore]
10


Pretty Me:
grow out my hair....don't chop it off again
Use an entire box of crest whitestrips
Wear my retainer once a week...for at least 2 months
get a facial every six months
[buy a really expensive coat]
5
Organized Me:
Put all photos on the computer & discs
Create a filing system for bills, documents, etc.
go through old clothes, books, etc.
[buy & set up a desk]
4
Sophisticated Me:
Visit another country (canada, central america)
Visit Colorado
[visit Wyoming]
[visit Idaho]
[visit south dakota]
visit Hawaii
mexico trip
Add to my photography portfolio
spend an entire day exploring salt lake
8

67

aches

can i just say that i am probably healthier than i've ever been. gym trips are not as dreaded as they seemed they'd be. plus, this achy-ness is reassuring.

fotos

we have the most comfortable bed i've ever slept in. it's absolutely amazing. this morning the last thing my body wanted to do was get out of it.
today we're doing a little photoshoot of the avarells. it'll be good practice for the wedding that's coming up. maybe this will spark more creativity in us.

plans

david came and visited me (and curtis) at work.
i'm making plans for this weekend:

finish sewing curtains and/or pillows.
find passport
buy washer/dryer
relax!

i like to make lists, i always have. i made one over the last week of things i love so here it is:
peach lemonade
babies
waking up on my own
black and white photos
having a flat stomach
video chatting
completely unpacking a box
finding a dress that's long enough
taking a bath
piles of folded, clean laundry
when a band sounds better live
being pregnant on sims
knowing i don't need to have my phone with me to feel comfortable
coming home to a clean house
flower shops
having a job that i enjoy
knowing where i'll be every sunday for the rest of my life
having a gym pass
reading emma for the 10th time
thinking about my wedding day
daydreaming and pretending i'm laura ingalls wilder
thinking about the things i'll teach my kids
seven brides for seven brothers
taking hours to make dinner
you have bewitched me, body and soul
re-reading this blog and realizing that i am clever and i do like myself. i just need to always be that way.

LOVE

i haven't written in this blog in a long time and i don't know if anyone even reads it anymore but suddenly i'm inclined to start up again. what kind of sparked my thoughts, besides actually being employed in a normal job again, was going through david's mission and junk boxes. we looked at mission pictures for a while and he continued to go through the rest of the boxes after i'd gone to bed. this morning in the trash pile i found a pink piece of paper folded into an envelope saying "thanks for the best week ever." inside was a pile of pictures of david and a girl he dated while he was at byu hawaii. he had flown her out there for a week during the semester.
ok, so i'd seen plenty of pictures of them together and of him with other girls but for some reason this time it was different. don't think that i was upset or anything for him still having these pictures- i don't expect him to get rid of anything from his past if he doesn't want to. but something happened as i went through them. i think i was jealous! jealous of how happy he looked and wondering if i make him that happy? and the weird thing is that i've always prided us in our lack of jealousy in our relationship.

so anyway, i'm not upset or bugged by this, i was just surprised how it affected me. and i'm glad about it anyway because it is like a reminder that things should always be good and the bad is fleeting. that we can get through anything (we already pretty much have) and we can enjoy and love eachother in all circumstances. i need to be more positive.
-i LOVE that my husband went on a mission, got hurt, came home and went back out 14 months later. that is him. he's amazing.
-i LOVE that he's ALWAYS in a good mood.
-i LOVE that he is willing to have fun in any situation.
most of all i love that he married me and he believes in me and never gives up on me even when i'm frustrating.

My birthday weekend

Now that we uploaded our pictures from the camera to the computer i can post some of them. These are from our weekend in San Diego. We stayed at the Hyatt in Seaport Village the 23 & 24th of June. It was a ton of fun, since it was our first vacation alone together since our honeymoon. We got there Saturday afternoon and walked around near the ocean. Here's a picture of David in front of the huge ship-
On Sunday we went to breakfast at this awesome mexican place in old town. Then we decided to head over to Cabrillo to see the tide pools and lighthouse.

us

so, it seems as though a lot of people are having their little blogs for letting their families know what's going on in their lives- so i've decided to kind of combine david's and mine together, since he never goes on his anyway. what have we been up to? well, it's been nearly 11 months since we got married. we're moving to a new little rental house soon in the villas here in lake arrowhead that we are VERY excited about. it's a little three bedroom that was just completely remodeled and we love it! we'll be moving in on august 15th and i've already started packing- i can't wait! david is busy building his first house on his own. he's also working towards getting his contractor's license. we're both planning on taking classes this fall at crafton hills college. for the most part we have fun while we're doing all the things we need to everyday-

be here now

haha, it's been three months! good thing no one reads thisssss. so i've been searching for a job pretty much since we moved up here. i've been on plenty of interviews but nothing is seeming to come of it. this morning i was checking my myspace and i noticed that one of my old jobs that my friend had taken when i had quit was going to be available again because she's quitting now...this is ideal, let me tell you. i've been bored out of my mind and been in need of a little spending money and jus something to do. it's perfect! she hasn't emailed me back yet but hopefully she will soon, and with happy news. last night we made homemade cafe rio deliciousness, including homemade tomatillo and cilantro-lime rice. i love food, and i love cooking even more. and as for now, my musical selection includes a lot of bee gees and barry white. and mason, of course.
and we got a new camera...a cannon! still not my dream slr but still a dang good camera anyway. photo posts to come soon.

people are angry

listening to the shins is like having a really really good dream, and then turning it off is like waking up. every time i listen to the shins i think, "yeah, definitely one of my favorite bands". soooo...we're nearly moved in to our new place. living downstairs from your in-laws is an interesting thing, but i'm sure it's gonna work out. well i guess it has to because we're in a one year lease.
im also trying to keep busy getting ready for gourmet girls. it's nice to have something to do. i'm also planning on taking photograpy and american sign language this coming semester at rcc. i'm excited that i'm going to be back in school.david and i bought our first printer ever at best buy with some gift cards we got for christmas and i'm having fun printing out wedding pictures.

this is one of my favorites.

haircuts

so, i did it. finally! i cut off my hair. i had no idea what i wanted to do cut-wise, so i picked a picture and showed the scissor-holder and she cut it all off. its very very short compared to how long it was! i'm still getting used to it.
we're going to move again...out of this house. its too cold and we can't get it above 60 degrees upstairs. plus our landlords are a bit crazy. david's going to do some calling tomorrow. tonight we came down to my parent's house and went out to dinner, played some sequence (a card/board game), and looked through my baby box. i'm so excited that my mom saved some of my baby shoes. mine and remy's baby blessing dress is in there. i'm so excited because i didn't know that we still had it. it's white with little pink rosebuds all over it with a little matching bonnet. there's also a little tiny pink bathing suit with a duck on it.
tomorrow we're helping my mom out with a gourmet girls thing and making a little money doing that. we're also doing that next weekend. tomorrow night is our ward christmas party which should be fun because most likely kollin and brean and glen and kari will be there which means good company with younger couples from the ward and a good chance that i'll get to hold baby kourtney some of the night!
as for now, i'm going to try to sleep in a place other than my house which i'm not used to doing anymore.
p.s. we're still incredibly poor as i am still jobless.
but we're happy and that's really all that matters.