fall wedding idea board

weekend goals

why do they always tend to be the same thing? probably because the weekend actually comes and all i want to do is relax. well i'm setting some goals and i will try to get them done!

move dining table.

switch living room around.

vacuum entire house

(which means i have to put my clothes that are on the floor away)

organize clothes closet.

this is probably good for now. maybe i'll get in a cleaning mood and not be able to stop!

someone i admire

i watched chefography last night about ina garten who is my favorite person on foodnetwork. i knew a lot about her from good 'ol wikipedia, but i absolutely loved seeing photos of her growing up. her wedding pictures were probably the best part of the whole show- in every photo since then, you can tell that her and her husband really like + love each other. their relationship is pretty amazing and any couple who stays married for 40 years should recognize what an accomplishment it is. on her show she said something like,

people always ask me what the secret is to having a happy marriage...i don't know. i would hate to have to be in a marriage where you have to work at it all the time. we just want each other to be happy

i made a mental note of that quote...and wished that it was that easy for me! but it's definitely inspirational.

babies

spending time with my neices always brings about mixed feelings. on the one hand, i love them and think they're hilarious, which makes me want my own children. on the other hand i see how they throw tantrums and it takes forever to get anywhere...so i wonder when i will feel ready to give myself up and focus on my own kids.

double decker bus

this wallpaper is so dang cute...perfect for a little boy's room

my ideal house

can you guess what my favorite colors are? i really like white, it's so clean, inviting and refreshing.

randomness

what i look at to motivate me to eat better...plus i like the outfits

my mj

lovely, lovely quiet lake
how could this be a mistake?
too dark now to see your face
your hair is blowing all over the place
the moon is caught in a frozen glass
it could not let this moment pass
...
every dream too good to come true
floods my heart when i'm with you

i like mason better than michael

mod

really liking this blog

california

california, here we come
right back where we started from
(this is the old song, not the phantom planet one)



i love lucy, by the way
i really really do

ikea's ideas

david's been wanting to build this shelf thing to go behind our couch, because our tan carpet, furniture and white walls are BORING. we'd probably do a smaller version, though.

getting ready

i've come to the conclusion that i need to take better care of myself. eek, i don't like saying that because it ends up sounding pretty selfish. the thing is, i spend minimal time on myself while getting ready or doing all of those daily things. when i do spend a little more time (as in about 20 extra minutes) getting ready i've noticed that i feel so much more confident throughout my day, compared to when i roll out of bed and throw my hair in a teeny tiny little pony tail. its amazing what a little eyeshadow can do for a girl

ina garten

i've been watching the next food network star, secretly wishing i was a contestant. on the most recent episode the contestants got to plan and and feed a dinner party, hosted by ina garten. when i saw her welcoming them as her guests in her barn, i got goosebumps all over...my dream is to meet her :)

i want to learn to cook as well as ina, and reach my inner french-ness
her food and entertaining style is fabulous

julia child

am i excited about this? what do you think?


Julie & Julia

sleeping in the sunbeams

happy weekend!

i think we will get some bbq tonight
visit the carnival in springville
tomorrow we will head to parowan to visit my family
clementine will probably be hangin' with kristine
i am going to sleep in :)



i like this photo of myself. someone once named it 'sleeping in the sunbeams' because it looked like an album cover from the 60's

madeleines

not only is madeleine my favorite name, it is also a delicious little dessert. now if only i had the pan to make them...

23

my birthday is in less than two weeks. and what do i want? it's a simple year :)

dinner with my love at sawadee
a surprise from him, nothing extravagant
a manicure/pedicure/eyebrow wax or a facial or somethin along those lines :)

another dress i love

if only this dress was available in the mall, for a decent price...it would be mine

airing out

last night i dumped all of my dresser and nightstand drawers out. i made piles of old clothes that i've had since high school and got rid of a lot of things. it felt really good. i used to clean out my room when i was bored, but i never really do a deep cleaning like that anymore. i guess i'm too busy. i think since it's already the weekend again i will have to actually accomplish things this time. last weekend i watched tv and sat in the hot tub. not so productive :)

oh, man

i will gladly accept any of these bathing suits. they are GORGEOUS and so not the norm. unfortunately, the price reflects all of that.

all things pretty

i like all of these things- the colors, the simplicity, the neatness. a lot of them are babies rooms, but i can plan ahead, can't i? ;) i especially love unisex nurseries.

this weekend i will make some more attempts. the number one being:
organize our documents!
we have an office full of paid bills and papers that need to be filed or shredded and they are driving me crazy.
i also want to really go through my old clothes and get rid of what i dont wear. half of my wardrobe is at least 4 years old and falling apart, or too small. depressing thought.
i'm also becoming a little obsessed with organizing things by color...my books on my bookshelf, my hanging clothes...

dress

i wish i was wearing this today, instead of jeans. it's hot!

mem'ries

"no work yesterday meant being woken by his voice and pancake house. i made chicken noodle soup from scratch for dinner...it's what i was born to do. and other things, since i have baby-birthing hips. bring it on. "

that was an entry from almost exactly three years ago. i like it.

pea soup

i really wish i could sew right now so i could make this dress. it's perfect.

hair

i wish my hair was long really really really really bad.

coolness

i think the coolest thing in the world is when parents don't find out what they're having when they're pregnant. even cooler, when they don't have a name picked out without seeing the baby's face.

i wish

david,

i'm sorry i don't have this body:




for you and for me.

little thought

its always good when family/friends make an effort on their side to plan things or get together. it shows they think about you.

bird

i've wanted an antique cage and some little finches for a while. i like chirping and they'd look so pretty!

he's in love and he says love is fine

been listening to best of paul mccartney...love that he included his wife in his band, wings, and that they got to go on tour together. this love lasted a long time.



i also like this album cover because of the little hiding baby :)


love isn't silly at all

ron howard

on saturday morning we watched an a & e special on ron howard. i loved everything about his life, the way his parents raised him and his brother (put all of their tv earnings into the bank) and how he raised his own family by limiting how many films he worked on and bringing them with him to ireland to film far and away.
on a part of the show involving an interview with his oldest daughter, she expressed her admiration for her parent's relationship claiming that they were 'soul mates'.

In the June 2006 issue of Vanity Fair magazine, Ron Howard was asked, "What do you consider your greatest achievement?" He replied, "Forty-eight consecutive years of steady employment in television and film, while preserving a rich family life."

i love an honest man of integrity


i get on wikipedia kicks where i'll research an individual...i love it

crepe cake

just saw this crepe cake at martha stewart's website
does it not look amazing? layers of individual crepes? YUM

lunch

it was good.

spring, spring, spring

monson

something else happened, recently.
i gained my testimony of the prophet while watching conference on sunday morning. the choir sang 'we thank thee o god for a prophet' and it showed photos of him with kids and people from around the world. i know and knew he was the prophet, but i think its always different when you're used to someone, like president hinckley, and then someone replaces him. but when they sang and i saw the photos of him the thought came to me 'he IS the prophet'.

he is god's prophet.

something like this

9 days til we move. i'm getting excited. there are a few things i'm interested in doing and i'm daily looking for more inspiration and ideas for decorating the new place. it's a bit older and not as big, but we'll have more to work with i think which can force the imagination to work harder.

lonely days

i didn't see my husband yesterday. is that weird? yes, it is. i don't remember the last time i went a day without seeing him. i guess i'm spoiled.

tonight will involve me and clementine watching pride and prejudice, alone, and tomorrow morning will involve sleeping in, cleaning the house, and shopping for a tart pan and the ingredients for a strawberry cream tart.

i have to do SOMETHING to occupy myself while he's gone.

ideas

i know i'm already married and already had a wedding, but i found this on a blog and think it is such a cute idea. i wish i had seen it before i had my reception!
maybe i'll recreate it this summer when i have a dinner party.

love him

my little testimony

last night we went to the gym around 9. i was walking on the treadmill, working up a sweat, and what movie was playing? the best two years. sometimes, i love provo.

anwyway, i'm not a huge fan of those lds movies, especially while living here because they're making fun of people that i see every single sunday. (so the movies are actually exactly like my life...)

but last night, the part where the elders are teaching the investigator the first lesson, and the 'wayward' elder remembers why he's out there on his mission, made get a little choked up. it made me love what i know to be true, all over again. and the room was silent, except for the sound of feet hitting the treadmill, because everyone in the room knew it too, im' sure.

i am really, really stressed right now. that is why it is 3:30am and i am awake, blogging. 

i woke up every half hour since i went to bed. no i just can't sleep at all.

i feel like i can't take advice from anyone and i can't get a straight answer from anyone, especially those that really matter. i want to go back, back a few years.

the only thing that can comfort me right now

28 And why take ye thought for raiment? Consider the lilies of the field how they grow; they toil not, neither do they spin;

29 And yet I say unto you, that even Solomon, in all his glory, was not arrayed like one of these.

30 Wherefore, if God so clothe the grass of the field, which today is, and tomorrow is cast into the oven, even so will he clothe you, if ye are not of little faith.

31 Therefore take no thought, saying, What shall we eat? or, What shall we drink? or, Wherewithal shall we be clothed?

32 For your heavenly Father knoweth that ye have need of all these things.

new news

i'm sick of this! i need to stop eating crap and start taking care of myself. i'm going to start today, right now.

it can't be that hard. i just need to eat good foods and be active. simple as that. i'm going to do it!

i want to fit in my clothes and feel attractive.

oh, and ps. i cut all my hair off. i feel like amelie or something.

in honor of ireland

should i watch far and away or tristan and isolde? both good movies that have at least a little something to do with ireland :) i wouldn't mind visiting there either...maybe next euro trip.

only in dreams

natalie: last night i had a dream that i was pregnant with twins

david: last night i had a dream that i was batman

wear something slutty

Natalie Fenni already got gas so we can leave as soon as i get home. --
1:46 PM (5 minutes ago)


David FennI didn't know you still knew how to get gas
1:48 PM (3 minutes ago)


Natalie Fenn oh you
1:49 PM (2 minutes ago)



Zoom zoom zoom
David Fenn to me
show details 1:50 PM (1 minute ago) Reply

sick days

what i've been doing for the last 3 hours

bird

oh my man i love him so

1. He's sitting in front of the TV, what is on the screen? discovery channel
2. Does he play an instrument? guitar a bit
3. What's one food he doesn't like? there's a lot- but recently we discovered he does not enjoy couscous
4. You go out to eat and have a drink. What does he order? a coke and something greasy
5. Where did he go to high school? Rim O' the World
6. What size shoe does he wear? 10 or 10 1/2
7. If he was to collect anything, what would it be? he has a lot of apple products
8. What is his favorite type of sandwich? he loves gandolfos or jimmy johns- and usually something with bacon
9. What would this person eat every day if he could? he would drink coke every day
10. What is his favorite cereal? he loves marshmallow mateys
11. What would he never wear? anything from american apparel. i dont know why but he hates that store.
12. What is his favorite sports team? he likes CA teams
13. Who did he vote for? i dont think he voted
14. Who is his best friend? me :) and blake, nathan, keith, brian....
15. What is something you do that he wishes you wouldn't do? worry
16. What is his heritage? english and scottish
17. What is something he would do if he wasn't working his current job? building houses

waste of money

why, oh why do i do this to myself? over the past three years i've probably spent $800 on jeans that have all failed me. my newest pair are a mere 6 months old but are about to rip on the inner thigh not even on seam. i really don't understand. and i dont know if i could take them back to nordstrom now- i dont have a receipt anymore.

i want you to bear my children and i dont care if they are boys or girls

something about the scene when he comes to take her away- the line he says about her bearing his children- i think it's one of the sexiest things a man could say.

i'm weird.

i want this

i want something like this so i can fix it up, paint it pretty and put it in my dining room

dream a little dream

right now i feel achey and stressed

i would love a bath, my bed, a book and a dinner, made by my husband

i can dream, can't i?

grapefruit

it was delicious

ps my favorite effect on picnik.com is 1960's

improvements

here's the deal. i need to be more organized and i need some immediate goals.

1 read scriptures every day, no matter what
2 organize entire house. (this probably seems like a lot but it's really not very big at all)
3 get rid of anything you dont use

i can do this, right?

i thought of some more
spend more time on myself

v-day

the good news is i accomplished half of those goals below. the bad news is i didn't accomplish the hard half.
what would my ideal valentines day involve, you ask?

well, i just noticed that it's on a saturday so that's nice.
i'd make us breakfast in bed with pink heart shaped pancakes.
we'd enjoy a drive together with a picnic lunch.
then we'd go to a movie.
then you'd make me dinner for the first time in years.

i also wouldnt mind that aquamarine necklace, or something from dogeared.com. but those aren't dealbreakers.

week's end

my goals for this weekend include:

sleep in until 9ish
pay all bills
clean out cupboards
take pictures of something
make every meal at home

WY

i want to be in wyoming, renting a house in the spring time. well i want it to be spring time right now.

dr. laura does it again

i really liked this article and i agree...you see it all over tv!


Girls as Pigs from Dr. Laura's Blog by drlaura
I’m very sad that, generally, girls today are pigs. I was speaking with a group of young men in their early twenties, about their social lives. They each admitted to multiple girlfriends with “overlap.” Most of them expressed some disappointment that they really can’t find what they know Dr. Laura would label a “nice girl.”

“You think they are good girls, but the minute you show them some attention, if they’re at all interested, they are all over you with zillions of daily suggestive text messages and sex. They’re open for, ahem, servicing us, even before we’ve taken ‘em out on legitimate dates - which can usually be just a visit to a bar or club.

“I think,” one fellow continued, “that just about all girls these days are pigs.”

This made me very, very sad. Because the more that young women act like “pigs,” the less respect and regard men have for women in general - and the less they hope and fantasize the blessed possibility of a lovely wife and mother to their 84 children.

I opened the paper today to read about a young woman from San Diego who is selling her virginity on a website so that she can pay for her - get ready for this - education as a marriage and family therapist! Her sister apparently led the way by being a call-girl/hooker to pay for her education. Well, there is nothing new in women selling their bodies for financial compensation; what is new is the bold and cavalier way it is happening today. The young women I mentioned said outright that sex and virginity means nothing today. And this is the sort to help families and marriages? Are you kidding?

When everything of value is demoted to “nothing”…then how is anything ever elevated to “something.” See? That’s why I’m sad. I’m sad for all these young men who have been taught by the piggish women of today that love, fidelity, and intimacy mean nothing. I am sad that our young men have been robbed of hope that they can ever be secure in a marriage, because how can they trust a cavalier “pig” to ever be anything else?

curious case

my favorite part of the curious case of benjamin button was the whole period when they lived together. it was exactly, EXACTLY how i pictured the perfect moments of being in love and married to be like before i was actually married. and honestly, its exactly how the perfect moments of being in love and married are.

love him

i do.

i had a dream last night

i think this post is similar to the one where i found pictures of david's ex girlfriend. i had this dream last night that david had been married before and happy. it sounds ridiculous and everyone is laughing when i tell them but when i dreamt that and woke up, i gasped. my concern was if i was making him AS happy. this is my real worry

ca or ut?

i am torn. do i want to move to california?
pros:
close to family
david can go to a better school
we'd make more money
we love california

cons:
we'd live in a tiny apartment
i'd have to quit my job
traffic
living close to family

stay in utah:
pros
we could probably buy a house
and get a dog
we wouldnt have to quit our jobs
less traffic
we're on our own..not close to immediate family

cons:
it's not california
not going to an ideal school
if we change our minds it would be harder to move, especially if we buy a house

decision

i just decided that photography is not something i want to pursue as a career. i just want to...i dont know

home

i am SO happy to be home. i missed my bed and a quiet house and my own shower.

handmade

i really would like to have my own little etsy shop but i dont know what i could possibly make/sell on there. i can kind of crochet. i can kind of sew. what could i sell?

the old me

my hair is finally starting to get long. i'm excited for days when i'll have it flowing again...
i'm still not what i want to be. still discovering myself. looking at old pictures of me helps

crush

i have a crush on vince vaughn...he's a normal guy. am i weird?

light

i think i need to live in california so that i'll always have enough natural light in my home to take pictures of things

goals

goals for the next two months:
make an amazing gingerbread house, entirely from scratch
go to hawaii or some place awesome

first there is a mountain

having my family here was great but also stressful. i'm so used to it being just the two of us now.
remember when i used to write about how great it would be when we were married? now all i want to write about is how great it will be when we have a baby. i wonder if someday i'll be writing about how great it will be when our kids are grown up and gone, so we're alone again?

iron chef

last night i was watching iron chef america, thanksgiving showdown. they had a lot of food items to choose from, and one of them was duck. there were a bunch of dead ducks with feathers still on and their little eyes closed so peaceful in this bowl for the competitors to pick from and cook. for some reason (probably/definitely PMS) every time it showed those ducks i had to close my eyes so i couldn't see their sad little faces and avoid breaking into tears.

thanks, dr. laura

dr. laura's blog inspires me every time i see a new post from her. this one is about child care. here are my thoughts.
now, i'm sure we all wonder why me, the person who loves babies more than anything in the whole world, doesn't have one. today while reading dr. laura's blog, it reminded me why, again, i am childless.
when i was in kindergarten we'd all line up after class to wait for our parents to come pick us up. we sang this little song about saying goodbye to the teacher and goodbye to the boys and goodbye to the girls. then we said 'goodbye daycare kids'...while they walked off to daycare for the rest of the day. i always felt bad for those kids. i was about to get picked up by my mom who would bring me home so i could play with my brothers.
so, maybe at 5 years old i decided that i wouldn't ever do that to my kids. i'm not saying that daycare is torture. i just think if i'm going to go through the effort to have a child i'm going to wait until i'm sure tha ti'm at the point where i can be there to take care of it.

ants

if i lived in the big woods, would i not ever have to talk to a customer again? if i lived off of the land and worked it, raising my own animals and smoking my own meat, growing my own vegetables, could i just depend on myself? i guess going to town to buy fabric for my clothes would be unavoidable. remember before when we felt like this so we quit our jobs and moved to the mountain? we're back at square one. i thought we'd come so far.

a wee bit of a crush

so i have this thing for irish guys. i dont know what it is, i just really really like their accents. today i talked to someone who was irish on the phone and i couldn't get enough! it sounds strange and yes, i know i'm married but hey, i can't help it! besides, david has a thing for goodlooking girls, so i think we're even :)

little house

i seriously want to go far far away
and i want to milk my own cow and sew my own clothes and worry about making dinner for my husband when he gets back from plowing the field

my skirt is swishing on the hardwood floor, hand laid by us. my homemade bread recipe is perfected, the hand churned butter is nice and cool from being in the cellar. my husband comes in smelling of pine from a day of chopping wood. simplicity.

i should have been laura ingalls wilder for halloween. then my dreams could have been slightly more real!

even if it never gets better

we're still in limbo. but the thought of ca is nice...very nice. i really want a dog and we're definitely getting one next time we move.
also, i'm taking a photo class tomorrow. i'm really excited, kind of nervous, but i know it will make me more confident in my skills.

boy's shirts

today i'm wearing a shirt i bought when david and i were dating...its from a thrift store and it's from the little boy's section. it barely fits... when i say barely i mean that it's kind of cutting my chest in half. but i still like it.

me

every single day i struggle with liking myself. i mean, i like myself. but not as much as i could. and it's most likely because i know i'm not being as nice as i should or as caring as i should. therefore, people probably don't like me as much as they could. i think about it. i want to be different. i think about it a lot.

babes

i make the mistake of watching a baby story and bringing home baby every day at lunch. why do i do this to myself?

canon

what do i want for christmas? a new camera. a bigger, better one. and lenses. i want to get better at what i do. because i love it.

little house

i think right now i'd rather be on the prairie. i'd rather be doing dishes or sewing a dress or dipping my feet in a cool creek. i was born in the wrong time.
i could bake bread all day and feed my husband lunch when he takes a break from plowing the fields.

rolls

the good news is after only two attempts ive made really really good rolls with mom's recipe. I thought it would take me forever to learn but i took my time last night and made sure everything looked right before baking. david says they're just as good as hers :)

falling into winter

i just saw on the weather report a chance of snow this weekend. it's october 7th! this place is insane. now i'm worrying about what i need to keep myself warm.

i'll probably need some dress socks since all we have are white ones. i have boots and my clarks. i have a scarf. a have some jackets and coats. maybe i'll need some long sleeve shirts and possibly a longish coat for church. probably tights. do i have mittens? i have hats. hopefully that's all i need.

also. david isn't sure about our next move. we're stressing about school because he has three years left. we moved here because we thought it would be easier for him to finish, but he still hasn't gotten in which means we can't get student loans. would it be easier to just finish his english degree in ca? do i WANT to move back to ca? this has been on my mind for nearly a week and i've never felt so ambivalent about my situation. and my future. i honestly just don't know.

fall

it's here! the summer felt like it went really fast but i dont even care. the feeling of cold nights and cool days makes my heart jump at the thought of the holidays which are on their way here. i wish i had gotten married in the fall...an orange boquet...apple cider...the leaves changing. the air just smells good.
nothing beats the feeling of fall.

back to school

david is going to school again, and i long to be there too! i want to be in school so that i'm working towards finishing it so i can have a job that i love. my job right now is fine, but i want to be doing something that i've learned how to do beforehand.
i want to edit, i want to research, i want to...maybe teach.

autumn

i just realized today that summer is over. yesterday it stormed like nothing i've ever seen and boy, was i excited. i loooove rain and thunderstorms. this morning it was very, very cold and i enjoyed it. but i just looked at my barely tan, freckly arm and realized...i didn't even get a chance to get tan this summer and now fall is here. oh well. i'll cover my white arms with coats and my neck with my london scarf.