polygamy

we keep saying we're going to rest each weekend, and only please ourselves by lying around and relaxing after a weeklong of work and school. but we never do. davey and i went to the orange circle to check out all the cool old stuff in the shops. we went to my favorite shop, country roads, and walked around for a long time. it's a huge store. i love almost everything in it. i found tons of furniture that i wish i could have, and a jadeite bowl that was beautiful. its crazy how old stuff costs so much...the bowl was $40. oh well. in a shop we found cool jewelry and i found one, very expensive piece that i absolutely loved.
i'm supposed to be in class right now but instead i am alone in the boys' apartment. why? because i can, i guess. i'm going to work on my rough draft for my english class that i'm supposed to have turned in by now. then i'll read as much as i can handle from my anthropology book. i like that class, there's just a lot of boring reading. right now we're learning about sex and marriage and its quite interesting. my professor told us about some guy, i cant remember his name right now, but he grew up in renaissance times i guess and he was a lover of the arts. on his wedding night he was horrified to find that women were not as hairless as portrayed in the paintings that he so adored. therefore, he and his wife never...well, you know. isnt that crazy? i think its so interesting. we also learned about how humans are unique in that it isn't apparent when women are ovulating, compared to animals in heat where you can easily tell. it means we have evolutionary power and more control over procreation and such. and i learned that men's sweat is stimulating to women...and if you are near that man all the time then it can cause more frequent ovulation.

did you know that polygamy is the most universally ideal form of marriage? now you do.

sacuzzi

it's funny that i can't get anything (including homework, housework, work-work) done if david is around. it just seems like such a waste to be doing other things when he's over or i'm over there. yet somehow last night we were able to re-write my philosophy paper. it felt good.
me and davey and keithy and natey went in the sacuzzi at the apartment. it felt nice. i like this life.
kitty was gone for two days. a lot of times she leaves during the day and comes home at night and sleeps with me, but last night she didn't come home and i was sad. but this morning i heard meowing outside my bedroom door and there she was! her little raccooned face looked up at me. that little devil.
i almost died in class today, it is so ridiculously boring. rene descartes is nothing special. then i came home and ate and now i'm at work doing nothing as usual. but i'm leaving soon and going to the store to pick up important things like breadcrumbs and such to make dinner.

rosemary crusted chicken
baked potatoes
french bread
a gorgeous salad.

the end.

iris

the best surprise of my life arrived in a skinny cardboard box yesterday. i got to sign for it and everything. a bunch of iris, and they weren't even all opened yet! nobody's ever given me flowers besides my parents before. it made my day a million times better.
then he came home in his work clothes, and i had dinner ready and we ate. we did some shopping, did some homework, and chilled. but going home doesn't quite fit into our lifestyle...yet it happens every night, regardless of how much i want to slide down his legs and hold his ankle until i'm allowed to leave with him. but i wouldn't allow myself to. not yet.

wouldn't you agree?
baby, you and me
got a groovy kind of love.

and i can do the frug.

what a weekend. it feels like it was everlong... saturday was so busy but super fun. plus it totally started raining! i love rain. yesterday morning i woke up and layed in bed for a half hour staring out the window at the drops hitting the unfinished roof outside my room.
i finally got to disneyland last night- it's been put off a bunch in the past few weeks. only a 10 minute wait for space mountain. plus cordogs and ice cream. delish. then i made david find pig josh on the xbox and we ate a little hamburger helper which was soon followed by a gun fight where keith screamed like a little girl. my ride home was pleasant, the shins came with me.
and today all i have is one class because i dont have to go to english tonight. but i do have to write my philosophy paper tonight. i'm so scared. she said that when we're writing it that we should call her and tell her what we've got. who calls their teacher?? i'm not going to call her, she's so weird. i'll just do my best and have david help me. now i must do an assignment for anthropology that i forgot about. i got to class on monday morning and while we were waiting outside for the teacher to come, i heard everyone talking about it and i realized i didn't do it so i turned around and drove home. it's just what i do.

pretty davey

today is october 13, 2005.

today i didn't go to school.

today, i am in love.

pretty boy

today i went to the orthodontist and he filed my teeth. he actually took strips of sandpaper and shoved them down in between my lower teeth and filed them..."slenderized." the whole time i was staring up, mainly at the bright light shinging in my eyes. i started looking at my orthodontist's face. he has the most perfect teeth i've ever seen and i'm actually jealous of them probably because i could achieve them-my teeth are the same size as his, a grown man's. he has sandy blonde hair and eyelashes that are ridiculously long. then i realized what i was thinking about him. he's pretty! he's the prettiest man i've ever seen. then the pretty man shoved my super tight retainer back into my mouth.

bob loblaw

in philosophy class my teacher is constantly asking questions and not answering them, because they are philosophical questions that are open to eternal interpretation. i, of course, know all of the answers which means i am thinking religiously for three hours...it makes up for not being able to go to institute.
we're reading the phaedo. plato wrote it about socrates, but it didn't really happen and in it, socrates is dead but other characters are telling their friends about what went on while he was chained up in prison before he was poisoned as the punishment for corrupting the youth. the entire dialogue, socrates is explaining to his colleagues why it is noble for a philosopher to die...that death is what they seek ultimately because what they are truly searching for is truth, knowledge, understanding. this can only take place out of the material world and without senses, which means that it can only come after a separation of mind and body which only happens at death. but his friends want to know, will socrates live on once he is dead? well, of course! because knowledge and truth and understanding come from learning, and education. and education does not come from the outside in, but the inside out. this means that it was in us all along, but was promted out by recollection. but recollection only comes by something triggering what we knew before our minds and bodies came together. which means that there was some kind of existence before our physical bodies joined with our minds. this means that if there was a pre-body mind, there must be a post-body mind. hoorah!!

219 days

last week i wasn't hungry at all. this week i've had this dazed, glazy view of life.

good today:
got out of class an hour early again
relaxed with mom and remy

bad today:
loud noises coming from top floor of work
realized how badly i need a hair cut/color

bloggity

have decided to not indulge in french manicures again as they chip almost immediately...
class was cancelled yesterday morning and i got out an hour early today because of my morals. sacrificing really does pay of, not that i didn't know that i already. i wish it was approximately 220 days from now.
i just realized that once you have children, that's it. this means i have five or six years to run.

i wish the world was flat like the old days

ah, i hate monday. it is the worst day of the week, the beginning of it all. this weekend was pleasant however which makes the transition from weekend to workness not so bad. general conference is so relaxing. david and i took a trip up to the mountains where it wasn't quite as cold as i would have liked it to be. when we went home we made a list of who to invite to what will be our totally hip halloween party, wahoo. the boys get to move in to their new apartment in a little over a week.
saturday was long and boring but worth it. i helped mom cater at a family reunion and she gave me $100 even though i owe her money for the dreaded phone bill. i would have done it for nothing. saturday night i set out to spend my money...we went to victoria garden and urban outfitters was calling my name. i bought a dress and a shirt and the money was gone! ugh. what i truly wished to purchase, however, was everything from the home decor section. sooooo cool. someday it will be mine.
i had another dream about blake last night. david and i went to visit him on his mission but we didn't go to brazil. we went to this vintage furniture store and he was there. i wanted to hug him so badly but i knew i couldn't. i figure that his appearance in my dreams is a result of me saying "i miss blake" every day of my life.

filtered water and pictures of you

almost every night this week blake has been in my dreams. one night, me and him and david went skiing in the mountains and then hung out at the mtc which bore a great resemblance to the church nursery. all we did was goof around but it felt right and it was so nice to hear his voice. i think that's what i miss most- his blakey voice. it was so real, more real than in any dream i've ever had and when i woke up i felt pretty sick. blake is so distant, not just in miles but in communication and actuality. luckily, he's in my thoughts and in my dreams more often than not. gosh, i miss that kid.
mad english professor was in a rarely good mood today and let us out five minutes early after explaining why there would be no survivors if a plane dropped from 35,000 ft (i can't remember the real number so forgive if that one is outrageous) due to pressure, completely omitting the fact that the plane would ultimately end up crashing into the ground anyway, leading to only body parts and no survivors.
i'm so lonely at work with no keith or nate to play monopoly with. only one more class before the weekend, then i'm spending saturday working for mom as she caters a family reunion to earn $100 which i owe her anyway.
tonight is a disneyland night. it's so warm.

so everybody put your best suit or dress on

i feel like i'm14 again after being driven around all day to school and work. three days left until my car registration expires so it had to be smogged so that i can take it to the dmv early in the morning sometime this week and have it registered in california. i hate that piece of crap.
i have an appointment next week to meet with people at bryman for them to interview me for school.
good today:
barely ate anything
took excellent notes in class
have actual work to do at work
knowing davey has things to do
got to wear new wedges to work

bad today:
waiting 20 for mom to get me from school
being locked out of the house
feeling strangely sick

oh good, there's more good than bad.
p.s. everything is illuminated wasn't as good as i thought. but that's cause i'm just a kid.

on a bicycle built for two

oh, how i loathe crotchedy, hunched over old english women who admit their only reason to sink below their level and teach community college is the lack of income from their job as a professor at the university. and yes, it is a waste of time to take someone's cell phone when it goes off in class as you explain to us once again how you said you would take it from them if it went off, and see, do you see how it disturbs the lecture?
and amazing bearded (female) english teacher has decided that we will watch trading places in my class because we're reading the prince and the pauper (even though it's english 1b) and compare the two. it being rated r gives me a good reason to skip class that day. maybe me and evan, my mormon sidekick, will ditch and talk about our futures (which are very similar) over hot chocolate.
ask me about any asian country, because i can tell you where it is on a map, completely unmarked.
phillippines? check
singapore? check
kyjzrkystan? checkity chiz-eck.

also heading straight from work to davey's at which time we will partake in the lovlieness of elijah wood in "everything is illuminated." very excited.

this is the sound of settling

i have realized that i can talk myself into anything i want, as long as it's the easiest choice of whatever i am deciding. who woulda thought? for example: deiciding whether or not to go to class this morning because of dull ache in lower back and abdomen was easy to do, considering that not going involved staying in bed, not getting dressed and not driving. besides, i had been crying like a three year old the night before and gagging on my way to the toilet so of course i deserved a few (three) extra hours napping on the heat pad.
bad today:
eating nothing but junk
not reading til chapter six in english book
not finishing english paper although is due in three hours
being in a horrible mood that i have no control over
feeling sick and out of it
losing to keith at monopoly

good today:
realizing i didnt need to go to the store
getting a random message from someone with good news
knowing that i wont get my period again for another month
 

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